Tails of the City

Picture this: Brooklyn Heights 1989

I was working in a pet grooming shop in Brooklyn heights, the shop was in a shopping mall, across the walkway  was an apartment building with an entrance facing the shop and another entrance on the next street over, we had a customer who lived on the 17th floor of this building, and I would see her with the dog for a few months, but she would never exit on the side of the shop, so 6 months since the last grooming appointment. she stopped in the shop to make an appointment for this poodle, by this time it had dreadlocks, doody packed on it's butt and crust in the eye area, she makes the appointment, and shows up with the dog, well the first thing out of her mouth was, you will not believe this, pooche ran away from home 6 months ago and just showed up at my door, mind you this women lives in a high rise building on the 17th floor, so I said to her, it is amazing that this dog made it back home and passed by the doorman and took the elevator to the 17th floor and rang your bell and said I am home now after 6 months and I need a grooming, she shot back at me and said this is a true story, sure right, and I have a tattoo of the with word idiot on my forehead.

Reasons my dog is matted!

1. What's a matt?
2. I thought it was just dirt.
3. I left him at my brother / mother / sister / daughter / parents etc...house for a few days and he came back like this.
4. It was really windy yesterday.
5. Those are Matts? I thought his ears were fat.
6. I thought this breed was supposed to have hair like this.
7. Don't Matts just shed out?
8. But he doesn't LIKE to be brushed.
9. He didn't have Matts until he went out and rolled in the grass.
10. I thought dogs groomed themselves, you know, like cats.
11. He/She ran away from home and just came back.
12. It just happened this morning.
13. I used conditioner and look what happened.
14. He/She was just groomed 9 months ago.
15. You didn't send me a reminder card.
16. She/He was playing with the other dogs at the run this morning and look at it.
17. I wasn't told to brush him before his bath.
18. He got caught in the rain.
19. He was at the Vet's overnight.
20. The dog ate the brush.
21. The dog hid the brush.
22. What's a brush?.
23. I have to Tell the babysitter to do a better job at brushing the dog!

You Know your a groomer when!

1. There's more hair on you than on your dog.

2. Your dogs' nails are better cared for than yours.

3. People who travel with you on a regular basis who are allergic to dogs know to take their medication before leaving home or work.

4. When you get around to buying shampoo for yourself (and you already have all possible types of shampoo and conditioners for the dogs), you stand baffled in front of the shampoo isle... Pantene Pro V for dry scalp? For thin, oily hair? Where¹s the paste shampoo and the cream rinse?

5. You can¹t remember the last time you went to the hairdresser, but you can't stand it if you see a stray mesh of hair on your dog.

6. You're known as the "fastest scissors in town".

7. When you finally DO get around to going to the salon, you bring your own hairstyle magazine and absent-mindedly ask for the spaniel cut.

8. There are "before and after" shots of all the dogs you've ever groomed all over the house, and one set of dated photos of your kids between photos of Pansy the Poodle and Buster the Schnauzer.

9. You've customized your grooming table to perfection, but have trouble remembering how to build pasta.

10. Your friends know better than asking how your family is doing. Instead, they always ask, "So, have you bought any new equipment lately?"